My Love, My Life…

I thought he was perfect. He had everything I could ever want in a man. He was extremely sweet, extremely caring, and so very loving. He catered to my every need and he took care of me. He was always trying his best to keep me happy, and when I was upset, he would hold my face in his hands ever so gently, kiss me on my forehead and remind me that he loves me, “Therefore everything will be ok” he would say. He was 7 years older than me, and I loved his maturity. I vaguely remember the long drives we would take together, I loved them. We would blast the music in his car and scream to each other the whole conversation and the whole way home. He would take me for drives when I was angry, just to calm me down. He kindly understood that our time together would always be limited as he stayed far from my home (1 hours drive away) and my parents didn’t know about him. We always had fun together, we were always with friends, always at parties, seeing each other at our best (before the party), and at our worst (after the party). It was exactly my idea of a perfect relationship.

We had our ups and we had our downs, as couples do. And with time, we had more and more downs, each down getting lower and lower. We wouldn’t speak to each other for weeks on end, not even a simple “Hey, how are you”, and not once did I think to myself “I miss him”. It became clear to me that this was not the man that I would be spending the rest of my life with – how could I – I didn’t even miss him after not hearing from him for a whole two weeks. Surely if you do not miss them, they can’t mean much to you? You wouldn’t feel the need to call them “My Life”.

What does it mean when you tell someone that they’re Your Life? It means you Love them. You’re In Love with them. You Need them. You live for them – for their Happiness – and you cannot live without them. They mean everything to you – they are Your Everything. They’ve earned a special place in your heart that cannot and will not be replaced, no matter what. There is no difference between death and being without them. You Love them.

Yes, calling someone “My Life” is serious. You wouldn’t dare call just anyone “My Life”. You can call them “My Love”, “My Baby”, you can tell them you Love them, but nothing means more than calling them “My Life”. So although I thought I loved him, I knew that he was not “My Life”. As much as I loved him and as happy as I was, I never once thought of him as “My Life”. He felt the same way – he never called me his life either. Even he knew that this special title is meant to be unique, and he too was saving it for someone who well deserved it, for someone who he truly Loved and lived for.

As time went by, things between us were only getting worse, and before I realised it, it was over. I didn’t miss him after the break up either, for a simple reason – he was not “My Life”. I tried many relationships after him, all which seemed to never measure up to what I had experienced before. None of them lasted as long either, 7 months being the longest. It wasn’t until March last year that I finally found someone worth keeping.

We met at a varsity party and spent that night together. It was amazing. Between all the alcohol and the random make out sessions with him on the dance floor, in his friend’s car, and behind a lecture hall, I fall In Love. I knew that night that I Loved him and Needed him. Apparently he knew too – he said to me “If I remember all this tomorrow, you owe me a date next friday”. He wanted me in his life as much as I wanted him in mine.

Well you can guess that it wasn’t long after that, that we started dating, He was mine and I was his. And with every day together, I could see more and more of what an amazing person he is. He Loves me, he cares for me. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met, he’s romantic, he’s cute, funny, corny. I Need him and he makes me Happy. He has the most Amazing eyes, that change colour with his mood, with the weather, and with what he wears. His lips, so perfect, slighty pink and always so juicy, so kissable. And when he smiles, you can tell he really is happy, because he doesn’t just smile with his lips, but with his eyes, his cheeks, his nose – and it makes me smile. His skin is so soft, so specifically coloured that it’s impossible to explain with words (much like his eyes). His body, so strong, so smooth, so sexy. His touch is so gentle, so careful, always so thought out, and I can feel his Love for me with every touch. His ambition, his competitiveness, his temper, his childishness and his seriousness, are yet but a small part of what makes him perfect to me. He is so much more than everything I want in a guy, he’s everything I Need in a man. He treats me well, he listens to me, he helps me, supports me, encourages me, motivates me. He understands me.

He is My Life. I Love him, I’m In Love with him, I Need him. I live for him – for his Happiness – and I cannot live without him. My Happiness depends on him. He means Everything to me, he is My Everything. He has earned a special place in my heart that cannot and will not be replaced, no matter what. For me, there is no difference between death and being without him. I Love him.

Why Men Love Porn

“97% of men watch porn, the other 3% is lying”

Ever so often, men in healthy relationships enjoy watching porn, and even more often the women in their lives have a problem with it – after all, how healthy can your relationship really be if he enjoys watching other people having sex, right?

So why do men enjoy watching or reading about other people having sex?

Reason #1: He’s bord – Porn is their idea of entertainment. No, they won’t choose a normal activity like shop, eat, nap, exercise, etc, they rather watch porn.

Reason #2: He’s lazy – Porn is like fast food, he doesn’t even need to get off the couch. Why waste time and effort on sexting his girlfriend, calling her over or asking for a sexy picture? Porn is readily available and easily accessible. And of course sex is messy and all the thrusting can be tiring, he’d rather forfeit the real deal…

Reason #3: Guys like the crazy, wild stuff, that is, it’s a major turn on – Let’s be honest, not all of us have the flat tummy, toned thighs, perfect curves, big ass, D-cup boobs he sees in every porn video out there (and even if you do, it’s not enough). A girl like that could turn a perfectly straight lady on. Porn fulfills his favourite fantasies – the wild, weird positioned sex he’s dying to have, those girls have tried it all, and watching them do it allows him to imagine him doing it. Yes, that’s right, in case he’s being lying to you – he has imagined having sex with millions of girls by now. And no, he doesn’t see our problem with it.

Of course these are not the only reasons, all guys have different motivations.

So is him watching porn a problem? Well he certainly doesn’t think so. Watching porn is not a reflection of your love/sex life. It doesn’t mean that he’s bored with you or unhappy with you, and he is most definitely not replacing you with porn. Maybe take it as a bit of a hint though – spice things up in the bedroom, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll enjoy watching you more than porn.

Keep in mind that guys are naturally aroused by the sight or simple thought of sex. No, it does not mean that he’s a sex addict, it simply means that he enjoys it (and trust me, all men do). If it doesn’t interfere with their daily lives or your relationship, then let him be. After all, how much can it really affect you that your man is jerking off to another woman’s body, imagining that it was him f***ing her.

Jealousy – A Relationship ruiner?

 

So we’ve all heard the “he’s so jealous” and “she’s so jealous” complaints from our relationship bound friends, but what’s the big deal? Is jealousy Really a problem in relationships today?

A recent survey showed that 8 out 10 guys like their women to be a bit jealous, “It shows that they’re willing to fight for what they have.. And who doesn’t like a little kitty fight?” – says Markus.

When women we’re asked about the topic at hand, we had a slightly different response. 6 out of 10 women felt that jealous men are controlling men.  “No women wants a man who’s going to tell her not to go out with her guy friends. They need to give us space, jealousy prevents us from being ourselves”. With a little further investigation, GezzyGirl learnt that women too, enjoy a little jealousy in their relationships, the problem arises when the jealousy is excessive.

Jealousy can be relationship ruining, or relationship building, it simply depends on how you handle it. While in some cases jealousy may be interpreted as lack of trust, it can also be seen as a “I’ll fight for you” gesture.

The next time your partner expresses their jealous side, don’t be too quick to react. Take a step back, and try think about what the source of their lealousy is. You’ll be surprised at what you may find!

 

Follow @gezygirl for more on this topic!

 

How to know that he is in fact, a liar

If he’s stood you up a few times, its few times too many. Its time to consider that he might be lying to you, and he;s not really committed to your relationship.

Today, relationships have become less about love, and more about, well, everything else.  Everyone goes into a relationship seeking happiness, but you’ll be surprised by how different some people’s definitions of happiness are. For example, while you define happiness as “love” she might define it as “your credit card”, or he might define it as “sex”. The bottom line is that different people have different reasons for getting into a relationship, I’m going to help you identify the liars. You know, the creeps who senselessly say “I Love you“, hoping to get something else in return.

Here’s how!

Tip 1: Inconsistencies

When you want to know if someone is lying, look for inconsistencies in what they are saying. Are their stories logical? Do they keep on changing their story?

Tip 2: Ask the unexpected

If your partner is used to lying to you, he’s probably already worked out all the questions you’re likely to ask. Ask them something they couldn’t have prepared for. This may be a bit hard if your partner knows you really well. Another way, is to just ask a lot of questions – almost try to confuse them. This will bring out the inconsistencies in their story and you’ll be able to catch them out!

Tip 3: Pay attention to behavior

When someone is being questioned about a lie, their behaviour will visibly change. They may look flustered, nervous, sweaty, awkward or panicked. Quick responses may also be a sign of a lie. Remember, any change in behaviour can give it away, even if they’re acting more relaxed than usual! Also, pay attention to eye contact. Most liars can’t make direct contact while trying to justify themselves.

 

So before getting too serious with your partner, make sure you both have the same vision for your relationship. Liars are very inconsiderate people, and they’re everywhere! Make sure you’re not with the wrong person.

 

Follow @gezygirl for daily tips for your relationship!